Revenge Is Sweet
by alyssa-inw0nderland
Summary: Jade West updated her status: "Hello to all of my new followers! Be sure to tell your friends to follow me. Because if I get 100 new followers by the end of the night: I'll release a Beck&Jade sex tape right here on TheSlap!" Set during: The Slap Fight./ in which Jade threatens to release a sex tape to get more followers. My attempt at funny. Or fluff. Or something. Bade. One shot.


**Hey guys. Just a lil' one shot I wanted to write because both of my stories are at rather angst-y, dark places right now. So enjoy. **

* * *

Jade West updated her status_: "Hello to all of my new followers! Be sure to tell your friends to follow me. Because if I get 100 new followers by the end of the night: I'll release a Beck&Jade sex tape right here on TheSlap!" _

Beck couldn't believe his eyes. He merely kept gawking at his computer screen, hoping he mis-read his girlfriend's latest update on their _school website. _

The two had never mentioned the infamous (only between the couple) _Sophomore Year Sex Tape_ to another human being, not even when they'd broken up for all those months, and now she was going to post it on the TheSlap?!

Horrified, he yanked his phone from his jacket pocket, haphazardly, nearly dropping it onto the floor of his RV. He had already begun dialing her number before he was sure he was able to form a coherent sentence. The dial tone sounded several times, before:

"Hello, Beckett." Her voice oozed of amusement. Amusement on Jade wasn't of the typical sort. It meant usually one of two things: 1. Someone else was in pain. 2. She was up to something incredibly devious, which would most likely end with someone else in pain. Based on her tone of voice, her boyfriend would dreadfully assume it was the latter.

"_Jadelyn," _He practically growled back. "What _the hell _is up with your Slap post?"

"Why, whatever do you mean?" She asked in a voice that somewhat reminded him of a bad Judy Garland impersonation, yet not quite as obnoxious as the tone she often used to mimic Tori.

Still, her playing dumb was not at all entertaining to him.

"I'm coming over," Beck informed her, before hanging up.

.

He rang the doorbell several times, muttering curse words under his breath as he ran palm after sweaty palm through his mount of hair, nervously. _Was she serious?_ His inner monologue chattered on, endlessly. _Jade wouldn't do that. She's a private person. She won't post that video. She won't. Would she?_

Beck had learned thousands of things in the four years he'd known Jade West, like practically memorizing each pathetic line of _The Scissoring,_ after being forced and threatened to watch it for the umpteenth time, and how to physically assault a non-suspecting victim with practically any object, specifically, _toilet paper. _But one of the most important things he had learned about his mysterious girlfriend: She is _not _predictable.

The monstrous front door creaked open slowly. Jade smirked, from behind it.

Beck pushed the door open wider, and stormed into her household.

"Are you on drugs or just especially demented today?!"

Jade was obviously taken aback by her boyfriend's behavior. He hardly ever used that tone with her, and certainly didn't use those words directed towards her. But she quickly recomposed herself, and the smirk reappeared.

"Hello to you, too, babe." She smiled, maliciously.

"Didn't you hear the doorbell? I've been out here, for like, three minutes!"

"Jesus, Beck. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

He narrowed his eyes at her, unimpressed.

"Besides," If it were possible, he could have sworn her smirk intensified. "I was staging the area."

"The area? What kind of _area?" _

She arose a pierced eyebrow. "Oh, my sweet, naïve boyfriend." She purred, nearing closer to him.

Beck then realized her apparel: a black silk robe, of which he could see just a twinge of lace peeking through beneath. His eyes widened to size of saucers as he realized just what kind of _area._

Jade led him upstairs, to her bedroom, where the lighting was much dimmer than usual, where various scented candles burned, surrounding her bed, draped in black silk sheets. All would have been perfect—except for the laptop computer, and camcorder set up on a table several feet from the queen sized bed.

There were microphones projected from her ceiling, and as he looked up and studied his environment, he realized lights and accompanying equipment dangled, as well.

"Oh, Jade, _what the fuck?_" He groaned.

When he turned back to her, she was slowly stripping herself of the thin fabricated robe, revealing black, lacey lingerie. Granted that her apparel didn't leave much to the imagination, Beck found himself imagining. Vividly. She also wore a sexy, but _evil,_ expression on her face.

She disregarded his question, and simply stared at him with sultry eyes, and that signature smirk.

He groaned, and through his arms in the air. "Jade, I thought you meant you would post the sex tape that we _already_ had, and besides, there is absolutely no way you already have a thousand new followers—"

Jade silenced him with her lips, but only for a moment. He pulled away, cursing at himself for being briefly distracted, but really, _her fucking curves _in the corseted lingerie made it increasingly difficult for him to think. Beck mentally gave himself a pat on the back for not yet surrendering to his girlfriend's scheming ways.

"I think my followers deserve a live stream, don't you?" She asked menacingly. "And besides," The raven-haired girl peered down at her chest. "I'm a bit more… _developed _compared to tenth grade."

He couldn't help but momentarily ogle at her breasts. She grinned, wickedly.

Attempting to distract himself from her extremely perky bosoms, and glanced around the Beck&Jade Make a Porno set, somewhat admiring her work. The display took some effort, he'd give her that. His gaze caught ahold of how technically done the microphones were hung, how strategically placed the lights were. How professional they appeared to be.

"Jade?"

She was sprawled out on the bed now, attempting to pose seductively, but unfortunately for her, the silk sheets maintained absolutely 0 traction, so she kept sliding down the bed.

"Yes?" She murmured a curse word beneath her breath, as she attempted to position herself differently, only to slide more rapidly down the mattress.

Beck refrained himself from laughing, looking out for the best interest of his physical safety, and reminded himself he was supposed to be angry.

"Did Sinjin help you with this little set up?" He asks, narrowing his eyes at her.

She huffs, and rolls over so that she is sitting upright on the side of the bed. A non-committing shrug is her answer, as she rearranges her dark locks.

"_Jade."_

"He was happy to help."

"Jade, that is fucked up on _so _many levels!"

"Well, you try setting up a fucking makeshift porn-o set in your bedroom, because I gotta tell ya, Beckett, it isn't easy!" She had stood up, and was now waving her hands wildly in the air as she often did when they began to argue.

"Do you even hear yourself?!" He asked her, raising his voice.

Jade folded her arms over her cleavage and raised her eyebrows, obviously awaiting some sort of explanation.

Beck quickly complied. "You asked some kid who is practically your _stalker_ to help you set up to record a…smut film, and why the hell would you want to post a video of us…_making love_ anyway?"

"_Smut film? Make love?_ Holy shit." She snorted. "Are you a _female?" _

"This is not the time to question my masculinity! This is a time to question your sanity!"

Jade chuckled shortly. "God, you're so brood-y. It's kinda…_hot."_

He let out a long sigh, and circled around his half naked girlfriend to plop down on her bed. "I just…I didn't think getting so many followers meant so much to you. I thought you…" He studied the fabric of the silk, avoiding her eyes. "I thought our relationship meant more to you than that."

He didn't know what to expect after this. But it most likely resulted in his physical harm. He braced himself, when suddenly: Jade erupted in a fit of hysterical laughter.

She had her chest, throwing her head back, a hearty hyena laugh filling the air.

Beck furrowed his brows at her. He'd always known she found other people's suffering amusing, but really, this was _not _appropriate. "Jade," He said her name several times, attempting to gain her attention, but her laughter continued to bellow.

Finally, the fit mellowed into short giggles. She sat down on the bed beside him, and it softly creaked beneath her.

He gazed at her, carefully awaiting, scared to death of what she was going to say.

"Beck, you are an _idiot."_

Not what he was expecting.

"Ja-wait—what?" He stammered.

And she laughed again, with a light shake of her head. "You honestly thought I wanted to film us fucking and then upload it on our _school website." _

"Okay. I have, like, no idea what's going on here."

And then her signature smirk was back and he nearly gulped.

"Revenge is very sweet." She purred, softly.

He titled his head to the side, and still couldn't fathom just what it was his girlfriend was hinting at.

"Please explain in acknowledgement to those whose brains are less diabolical than yours."

She snorted. "Don't you mean less _developed."_

Sighing, he brought his hand up to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Please, Jade. I'm getting a migraine. Just—what did I do? Why is this happening?"

Jade rolled her eyes slowly. "You're no fun." She told him, before carrying on. "Remember the other day when you were live streaming on TheSlap? Y'know, the one where you took off your shirt and rolled around your car seductively?"

"I was _washing _it."

"You were being a whore."

He didn't reply, and she didn't wait for him to.

"And then all these fellow whores of the female variety commented about how hot and sexy you were-"

"Jade," he cut her off. "I thought we were over all this jealousy."

Her eyes squinted into an even glare. "We _are."_ Her emerald irises rolled mechanically at him. "It's just—well, how the hell would you feel if I rolled around my vintage douche car half-naked, in an attempt to get more followers?"

A sigh. "Ah, so this is your 'evil'—" he used mock air quotes. "Plan?"

She scowled. "This is a _genius _plan. Almost give your boyfriend a heart attack, _and_ get an excuse to wear your sexy new lingerie."

"You're crazy." He tackled her further onto the bed, and crashed his lips into hers, before pulling away to huskily mutter, "But you _are_ sexy." And promptly wriggled his eyebrows at her.

"Stop it. I hate it when you do that." She protested.

"It's sexy," he smiled, into the skin of her neck as he began to plant kisses down her collar bone and chest.

"It's _creepy." _Beck trailed kisses down her skin and began to gently suck on the flesh. "But _that _is sexy."

He smirked and returned to her lips. "I love you." He whispered.

She pressed her lips to his, and soon, they were tangled into each other, tongues fighting for dominance, and hands trailing up and down each other's bodies.

But Beck pulled away, and eyed the Camcorder set up near the foot of her bed. He smiled down at her. "Promise me this doesn't go on TheSlap?"

She rolled her eyes, but smiled, in spite of it. "This one will be just for us," She told him, before winking at the camera.

* * *

**So, I don't really know. Was this funny? Or fluffy? Or even the least bit enjoyable? Because I feel like I can only write teenage angst whiney-slit-my-wrists kinda shit. But if you liked this, let me know, and maybe I'll attempt at the light-hearted stuff more often. Even if it ain't my style.**

**Please review/or whatevaaaa**


End file.
